"Cheese and Kisses, That's the Missus..."

Here in Australia, we have started a tradition of a weekly gathering on Sunday "arvo" (afternoon) called C.H.A.T.A. That stands for Coffee Hour At The Allen's. Even though we now rotate between houses it is still called C.H.A.T.A. Anyways, here's the gist of it. All of the ladies that attend bring delightful snacks... like delectable slices (with whipped cream) and scones (with jam and whipped cream), or piklets (mini pancakes with jam and whipped cream.) The Aussies love their "cream" they have to have it served with anything sweet. At first, I found it repulsive but now I'm getting used it and it's not so bad. My sister is a cream-a-holic. Sis... the first step to recovery is admitting you have a problem...

Okay, so here is how C.H.A.T.A. works... you have all of these lovely nibbly desserts and sometimes someone is brave enough to bring something savory to cut through the sugar high. Then we all have some sort of a "cuppa" and sit and "have a yarn" (chat) about what's been going on in our lives. At sometime during C.H.A.T.A. Dad will announce out of the blue, "Okay, it's time for highlight of the week!" and he chooses someone at random to tell what their "highlight" of the previous week was. 

This is what is so great about C.H.A.T.A. We sit there with all of our Australian friends talking about their daily lives using extremely "colorful" Aussie slang... and every now and then someone in my family bursts out laughing when one of the Aussies says something foreign to us. For example... This last Sunday one of our main topics was that we have all had a mouse in the  house to deal with and one of our neighbors was talking about one of her friends and said "Oh, if so and so had a mouse in her house... she'd have kittens!" and Mom started cracking up. Then another friend was talking about someone he'd met that was a bit "strange" and he calmly said to us...

"This jolly bloke is a full blown, fair dinkum, "raisins for eyes" fruitcake!"

I thought Mom was going to "lose the plot" right then and there. Funny, they all look at us like, "What are you guys laughing at?" and then they realize what they've said. I find the Australian slanguage to be so delightful and amusing and I can't wait until we have C.H.A.T.A. again! (Only 5 more days to go...)

Another interesting component of the Australian slanguage is "rhyming slang." Now, my American friends, you probably have never heard of this but it is so creative. Basically, whatever you want to say, you just rhyme it with something else. This actually came over from the English as it was popular in England in the 1800's. For example: I'm goin' to have a "Dad and Dave" (shave) so I can kiss me "cheese and kisses" (that's the missus - or wife.) 

"Put your hands in your skyrocket mate, it's your Wally Grout!"

Which means: Put your hand in your pocket, friend, it's your turn to "shout" (pay the bill)

You get the idea. I've added a list of some of the popular rhyming slang for you guys to have a go at... have fun with it. How 'bout you invite some mates over for Sunday arvo and av'ago trying them out on them. Hoo Roo!

List of Australian Rhyming Slang

• Al Capone - "telephone"
• I'm up the apples and pears - "up the stairs" 
• bag of fruit - "suit" as in suit and tie
• Barry - a "shocker," a poor performance, from the Australian crooner and actor Barry Crocker.
• Barry Beath - teeth
• billy lids - "kids" 
• Blundstone (boot) - "ute", utility vehicle, a tradesman's vehicle, from a popular brand of workman's boots.
• boat race - the "face"
• bread crumb - a "bum," a derelict
• Bugs Bunny - "money"
• butcher's (hook) - "crook", ill, unwell"
• cheese and kisses - "missus" or wife
• china plate - "mate", friend
• Dad n Dave - "shave"
• Darby and Joan - "all alone"
• dead horse or race horse - "tomato sauce (pronounced source)"
• dig in the grave - "shave"
• dog and bone - "telephone"
• dog's eye - a "pie", as in "I'll 'ave a dog's eye 'n' dead 'orse."
• dog's eye with dead horse - a meat pie with tomato sauce 
• Do you want some Mary Lee? - "tea"
• Don't forget your stay afloat - "don't forget your coat"
• drinking with Pat Malone - "drinking alone"
• Eau-de-Cologne - "phone" 
• Fiddly-did - "quid" - after a one pound note. 
• frog and toad - "road", usually in the phrase "hit the frog 'n 'toad" (that is depart)
• froth and bubble - "trouble"
• Get some mother and daughter - "fetch some water"
• ginger (ale) - "tail", as in "Get off me ginger!" (stop following me), or "a swift kick up the ginger".
• gingerbeer – "engineer"
• Give us a Nellie Bligh - "meat pie"
• goanna - a "piano" (pronounced "pianner").
• good cheer - "beer"
• hammer (and tack) - "back"
• Harold Holt or Harry Holt- "salt" (no longer commonly used but is still understood by most Australians); to disappear, to bolt, to depart quickly (as in to do a/the Harold (Holt)); referring to the Australian Prime Minister Harold Holt who disappeared while swimming at a beach in 1967
• He's a pain in the Gregory Peck - "pain in the neck"
• hi diddle diddle - "middle", particularly in Aussie Rules Football
• He's having a Barry Crocker - "a shocker, bad time"
• Joe Baxi - "taxi"
• - "go for a look"
• I got here on my mad mike - "a push bike (bicycle)"
• I'll light the Nellie McGuire - "light the fire"
• I'll fix your Jack and Jill - "pay for the bill"
• I've got to catch the bread and jam - "the tram"
• Joe Blake - a "snake"
• Johnny Raper - "paper", a newspaper, from the Australian rugby league footballer Johnny Raper.
• Johnny Horner - "corner"
• Knees - "please"
• loaf of bread - "head"
• Morton Bay fig - a "wig"
• My sky rocket - "my hip pocket"
• Ned Kelly - "belly"
• Noah's Ark - a "shark"
• Onkaparinga - "finger", after place in South Australia and blanket manufacturer
• Oxford scholar - a "dollar"
• Pat (Malone) - "on one's own", as in "left him on his Pat Malone".
• Play the goanna - "play the piano (pronounced "pianna")
• potato peeler - "Sheila" (pronounced Sheeler... a woman)
• porky pie - "lie", typically a white lie, as in "When I looked into it I realised the whole story was a porky pie". 
• red hots - the "trots", that is, trotting horse races or Diarrhea.
• Reg Grundy's - "undies"
• rock and roll - the "dole", unemployment benefits, social security payments
• rubbity or rubbity-dub - a "pub"
• sausage roll – "goal", as in
• Shut the Rosie O'Moore - "shut the door"
• Time to go to the soapy sapple - "chapel"
• Trick cyclist - "psychiatrist"
• trouble and strife  - "wife"