So You Wanna Talk Like An Aussie?

What is it about the Australian slang that we love so much? Is it in the laid back delivery from the typical light-hearted Aussie? Whatever it is, everyone wants to speak like an Australian. This will take you years of practice. First, you have to throw the letter "R" out of the alphabet. *** There are exceptions to this rule. Second, you have to jumble all of the words together and delete most of the commas. And third, your must shorten all words (even people's names) or phrases because time is precious here in Oz and they have better things to do... like having a barby, (bar-b-que) a cuppa, (smoko) going to the beach or the pub or hanging out with their mates. I have been living "down undah" for a while now and I am still hearing new twists on words and strange and unusual phrases everyday.

** The exceptions to the dismissal of the letter "R"- If you say a word that ends in an "A" or an "AW" well, most of the time, you add an "R." For Example:

China = Chiner

Saw = Sawer

Canada = Canader

Tostada = Tostader
Spa = Spar 

You get my drift. Go ahead... your first lesson towards becoming an Aussie linguist. Now, remember, anywhere else an "R" appears in a word... you just omit it and pretend there is an "H" there instead. For Example:

Car = Cah

Star = Stah
Ladder = Laddah
Bird = Bihd

Water = Waddah

Tucker = Tuckah (Which is food here in Oz)

Okay, the next lesson for today is a really simple one. You just shorten everyone's name. Sometimes you can add a "za" at the end to be real flash. (Don't forget to take out the "R" and add the "H." For Example:

Gary = Gaz or Gazza

Jerry = Jez or Jezza

Rosanne = Zan or Zaza
Colin = Col

Confusion will occur because most phrases are said fairly fast and all joined together.... like this: 

"Hey, owyagoin, mate? 

Wanna 'ava cuppa dis arvo?"

Which means... Hello, friend! How are you?
Would you like to join me for a hot drink this afternoon?

Many words are very close but mean completely different things. For example: avo, arvo, avago...

Avo = Avocado

Arvo = Afternoon

Avago = To have a turn at something - Have a go

So, you see my American mates, it will take you a long time to master the fine art of Aussie "Strine." I have included a poem written by W.T. Goodge. He arrived in Sydney from London in 1882 and went "walkabout" around New South Wales for twelve years before becoming a journalist. For the nine years prior to his death he wrote a column for the Sydney Truth about the "doings" of an imaginary drinking group, the Gimcrack Club. He is best known for his book, The Great Australian Adjective. Norman Lindsay considered him one of Australia's best writers of light verse. He died in 1909. This poem is "Australian as meat pie!" (Authentically Australian) I think you will enjoy it...

THE AUSTRALIAN SLANGUAGE by W.T. Goodge

"Tis the everyday Australian
   Has a language of his own,
Has a language, or a slanguage,
   Which can simply stand alone.
And a "dickon pitch to kid us"
   Is a synonym for "lie",
And to "nark it" means to stop it,
   And to "nit it" means to fly.

And a bosom friend's a "cobber,"
   And a horse a "prad" or "moke,"
While a casual acquaintance
   Is a "joker" or a "bloke."
And his lady-love's his "donah"
   or his "clinah" or his "tart"
Or his "little bit o' muslin,"
   As it used to be his "bart."

And his naming of the coinage
   Is a mystery to some,
With his "quid" and "half-a-caser"
   And his "deener" and his "scrum".
And a "tin-back" is a party
   Who's remarkable for luck,
And his food is called his "tucker"
   Or his "panem" or his "chuck".

A policeman is a "johnny"
   Or a "copman" or a "trap",
And a thing obtained on credit
   Is invariably "strap".
A conviction"s known as "trouble",
   And a gaol is called a "jug",
And a sharper is a "spieler"
   And a simpleton's a "tug".

If he hits a man in fighting
   That is what he calls a "plug",
If he borrows money from you
   He will say he "bit your lug."
And to "shake it" is to steal it,
   And to "strike it" is to beg;
And a jest is "poking borac",
   And a jester "pulls your leg".

Things are "cronk" when they go wrongly
   In the language of the "push",
But when things go as he wants 'em
   He declares it is "all cush".
When he's bright he's got a "napper",
   And he's "ratty" when he's daft,
And when looking for employment
   He is "out o' blooming graft".

And his clothes he calls his "clobber"
   Or his "togs", but what of that
When a "castor" or a "kady"
   Is the name he gives his hat!
And our undiluted English
   Is a fad to which we cling,
But the great Australian slanguage
   Is a truly awful thing!