Where's the Bathroom?

Why is it every time you get off of an airplane you have to go to the bathroom? Considering you have had the opportunity to go for the last who knows how many hours when you were doing absolutely nothing? I had to go and I had to go now. Maybe my body was still on American time and didn't know it had just lost a day. I kept my eyes peeled for the restroom sign and finally I asked someone walking by, "Excuse me, where's the nearest bathroom?" The man gave me a confused look and said, "I don't understand." What? Did he not understand me or the question? Considering I was speaking English and we WERE in an English speaking country I assumed he meant the question. He explained to me that if I did need a bathroom why didn't I wait until I got to where I was staying and if I just couldn't wait, that there was a bathroom down the road at the hotel. I then whispered to Mom, "Don't they have bathrooms in Australia? I really have to go!" Mom sent me a puzzled look and said, "Of course they do, we've passed like... four so far. You better go before we get to customs." "We have? When? I didn't see any and I have been searching for one for the last 10 minutes." Just then Mom pointed across the terminal and said, "Over there. The toilets. Do you see them?" You're kidding me... "toilets?" I saw the toilets signs. I just assumed that they were the janitors storage closets.

After a long visit to the "toilet" I was ready for my next adventure... customs. I have heard horror stories about Australian Customs being the hardest to get through in the world. I was really nervous. I didn't want to go back on the airplane even if I had 12 more movies on my watch list. We had to declare every little thing down to my last pack of food, I mean gum. Including Big Red, my favorite gum that I was allowed to keep but wasn't smart enough to ration since I would not get another pack for 12 months. My Mom and sister have a cake decorating business and after they went through 4 U-Haul boxes of their equipment they kept a peacock feather from China that Mom bought at a craft store, and a can of Wilton egg white powder. (which we found out later you can buy in Australia). They swabbed my boots with a solution and asked me, "Mate, when was the last time you have been on a farm?" I gave him a blank look and then replied slowly, "A farm? I don't think I have ever been on a farm. Wait! My friends have a couple of ponies does that count?" He laughed and said, "Anywhere with livestock is considered a farm here in Australia, Mate." I guess I have been on a farm... go figure.

Two and a half hours later, after we had re-packed all 10 of our U-Haul boxes that were filled with all of the "necessities" that we couldn't live without for the next year, we walked through the doors into the Brisbane terminal.  

Now I was in Australia. But wait, what was this? Gloria Jean's? Subway? and a sign pointing to McDonald's...